Day 14 of The Literal Challenge aka Like The Prose

50% vampires; 50% inspiration

1. You have only twelve hours left to write an exciting and engaging interactive adventure story.

If you sit down straight away and start typing, go to number 5.

If you decide you need inspiration and settle down to watch ‘Love Island’, go to number 2.

2. ‘Love Island’ has finished, but there is an absolutely riveting documentary on shipbuilding.

If you reluctantly turn off the TV and head for your laptop, go to number 5.

If you open a tub of Pringles, grab a family sized bottle of Coke and settle in for the duration, go to number 3.

3. You have now watched documentaries on shipbuilding, pig farming in Albania and ‘Coffin Making for Beginners’. You have approximately eight hours left to write an exciting and engaging interactive adventure story.

If you sit down straight away and start typing, go to number 5.

If you decide you’re worn out by all this activity and need a nap, go to number 4.

4. You wake up feeling refreshed and realise you have thirty-seven minutes exactly to write your story.

If panic galvanises you to sit down straight away and start typing, go to number 5.

If you decide to give it up as a lost cause and watch the repeat of ‘Love Island’, go to number 10.

5. Sudden inspiration strikes you and you start typing feverishly. However, you soon realise that you are not feverish but faint from lack of hunger.

If you order a pizza and carry on typing, go to number 8.

If you decide to take a quick break to visit KFC, go to number 6.

6. You jump into your car and start driving to KFC. Unfortunately, your car shudders to a halt halfway between your house and KFC.

If you were sensible enough to join a breakdown service, go to number 11.

If you have no breakdown cover, no insurance and no common sense, go to number 7.

7. You get out of your car and decide to walk the rest of the way to KFC. You might as well eat your meal there and then get an Uber home.

If you allow yourself to be distracted by the handsome young man serving behind the counter, go to number 13.

If you grab your food, order a taxi and hotfoot it back home to continue writing, go to number 8.

8. You’re really buzzing with inspiration now and rattle off three pages without breaking a sweat. You’re about to congratulate yourself when you hear a ring at the door.

If it’s the pizza you ordered in number 5, go to number 9.

If it’s a bunch of kids, dressed like vampires for Hallowe’en, go to number 15.

9. You eat your pizza whilst busily typing away and pretty soon you have sixteen pages.

If you’re happy with what you’ve written, go to number 12.

If you suddenly realise you’ve produced sixteen pages of complete and utter twaddle, go to number 10.

10. You’re a terrible writer and you really must stop putting yourself (and everyone else) through this agony.

Your adventure is over. Go back to 1 and start again.

11. The breakdown service promises to be with you within the hour. Unfortunately, if you wait that long, you’ll miss the deadline for your story.

If you can’t wait that long and decide to walk home and carry on writing, go to number 12.

If you decide to cut your losses and give up on your story, go to number 10.

12. With only ten minutes to go, you’re unstoppable. This is the best thing you’ve ever written.

If you upload your document and press ‘Send’, go to number 16.

If you suddenly realise you’re completely deluded, go to number 10.

13. This guy is SO hot and he seems really into you. He can’t tear his eyes away from your neck. He puts a note in your meal bag that asks you to meet him outside when his shift finishes in ten minutes.

If you decide to hang around and see if this attraction’s going somewhere, go to number 14.

If you suddenly realise you’ve wasted too much time already and need to go home and start writing, go to number 12.

14. Vlad, the hunky Eastern European guy who served you your food is waiting outside for you. Unfortunately, he’s a vampire. His fangs biting into your neck are the last thing you know.

15. These kids are so cute, dressed as mini-vampires. Unfortunately, as they tear into your flesh, you realise they’re REAL vampires.

You’re deader than your story.

16. You are an awesome writer. In fact, you have just been awarded a Pulitzer for the story you’ve finished.  Just remember that there are vampires around every corner …

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